Can you imagine the sound of blood pumping through a heart?
Can you hear it in your mind?
Try to imagine.
Perhaps you’re a doctor and you listen to heartbeats daily through a stethescope – can you hear the whoosh of the blood going through the heart playing in your mind?
It’s important to try, so to get an understanding of how God shared His Presence in me today.
I share it with you, because I know that it was not meant just for me alone.
God has made me realize everything that I have been given is a gift that I don’t deserve and could never earn; and so I am to share it freely, so He may be able to touch others through me.
For many years, I have had the incredible grace and privilege of receiving Jesus in Communion nearly everyday. Many times upon receiving Communion, I’ve tried to place myself on the Heart of Christ — trying to imagine I’m resting my head on Jesus’ chest (like St. John, the Beloved Disciple).
I never experienced what this might have felt like for St. John in a sensible reality… until today.
Although in faith, I KNOW this happens and I KNOW that we are truly ONE with Jesus in Communion — in a unity greater than we can ever conceive!
But, let me back up just a little bit more, to something I read that was life changing. It was, in large part, because of this quote that I have tried to place myself on the heart of Christ. A few years ago I read Jesus’ Words to St. Faustina:
“When I come to a human heart in Holy Communion, My hands are full of all kinds of graces which I want to give to the soul. But souls do not even pay attention to Me; they leave Me to Myself and busy themselves with other things. Oh, how sad I am that souls do not recognize love. They treat me as a dead object” (Diary of St. Faustina, 1385).
When I read these words, they cut me to the heart. I knew that I had been one of the ones that had treated the LORD OF THE UNIVERSE as a dead object. He DIED TO GIVE HIMSELF TO ME AS FOOD! (Oftentimes we become so numb and preoccupied, this astonishing GRACE doesn’t impact us like it should!)
So, each time I went to Mass and before receiving Him in Communion, I would remind myself that Jesus is ALIVE and He is longing to pour out graces upon me!!!
And I would tell myself:
No matter my spiritual or emotional experiences, the fact remains — Jesus has come to LIVE INSIDE ME in Communion!!! There is no greater gift that Jesus could give me! On the night before He died, in anticipation of giving His Life for our salvation, He created an EVERLASTING COVENANT that we could participate in until the end of time. Recognizing that we would no longer have His Physical Presence after He sacrificed Himself, (to bear the weight of our sins and our punishment!), in His Infinite Wisdom and Power, He made Himself Food in order to remain with us and for us to live in Him as He promised, “Behold, I AM with you always, even unto the end of the age!” (Mt. 28:20). The Last Supper was the first Mass. And when He said,
“Take this, all of you, and eat of it,
for this is My BODY, which will be given up for you!”
“Take this, all of you, and drink from it,
for this is the chalice of my BLOOD,
the blood of the new and eternal covenant;
which will be poured out for you and for many
for the forgiveness of sins.
Do this in memory of me”
— HE MEANT IT!
“Heaven and earth will pass away, but My Word will never pass away!” (Lk 21: 33, Mt 24:35; Mk 13:31).
It is no longer bread or wine, it is TRULY His Body and Blood, as He said!
It was REAL then, and it is just as REAL NOW!
His Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity are really is present in the Eucharist! He is TRULY ALIVE AND WITH US! God, forgive me… how often I act as if You aren’t alive or real!
And so, knowing God is beyond all space and time, I began to ask forgiveness for all the times I went to Communion distractedly and not recognizing Him. And I began to beg for all the graces that I had squandered — all those times I didn’t open myself up to receive them in the past. I also began to ask for all the graces He couldn’t give to others — due to souls’ inattentiveness and their lack of love and desire. I asked Jesus if I could come in place of those who weren’t asking for the Graces He longed to give and begged that He give them to me. Asking if I could be a channel of Grace for others, in whatever way God wanted to use me, realizing that “Freely you have received, freely you must give!” (Mt 10:8).
An Experience of God
This leads me to today, when I received an experience of God unlike anything else I’ve ever experienced.
Remember the heartbeat?
I’m attempting to describe the indescribable, so please ask Jesus, the Holy Spirit and our Mother Mary to come to your aid and imagine not really the sound of a heart beat, but the sound of blood flowing through the heart, because I don’t just want to tell you about an experience I had.
I pray, as you read this, that it becomes an experience that you have…
After receiving Jesus in Communion, while in prayer…
I, again, tried to imagine myself resting on the Heart of Christ…
And I began to hear and experience in my heart
Whoosh… (imagine something like the Wind blowing through the trees)
The Holy Spirit pouring into my soul
In prayer, I recognized it as the sound of Blood flowing
It was Blood pumping through Jesus’ Heart
Upon each heartbeat, I heard and felt Blood pulsing through His Heart…
The pulsation lasted a long time — not like anything I’d ever heard before… it lasted several seconds…
The blood was pulsing through His Heart and into mine — to the depths of my being
— so much so that with each pulsation, I felt as if His Blood was PENETRATING MY SOUL
Each beat was so STRONG…
Can you imagine? For I don’t have an adequate way of expressing it’s strength…
Not only was it longer, but it was louder in my mind than I had ever heard the sound of a normal heartbeat …
And I understood that its strength was so great because it was the Heartbeat of the LORD OF HEAVEN AND EARTH! It was the Heartbeat of the God of ALL Creation!
It continued to pour into me…
and with each heartbeat,
I experienced LIFE
the LIFE FORCE of God, Who created the universe out of nothing!
Imagine!!! (Really, do try to imagine this!)
I experienced FORGIVENESS flowing through my veins
I experienced tremendous and incomprehensible HEALING
And I understood the Heart of God BEATS FOR ME…
And His LOVE flowed through me and into my heart — until we beat as ONE —
joining us irrevocably HEART to heart
— melting my soul with love
and fusing us together as the wax of two candles fuse together with the FIRE of His Love.
The depth of His love…
I had never experienced it quite in this way
And God’s Glory entered into me and flowed through me
and over again
“You are my Child, my Beloved, in Whom I am pleased… Listen to her.” (Mk 1: 11)
(As each of us are called to listen to each other — for in Baptism, we are all His Children).
The Blood and Water, which flowed from His side pulsed through me.
Again and again, with every heartbeat, I felt the grace of His forgiveness washing me and making me clean!
His Love touching and healing me in ways that are inexpressible.
As His Life poured out and flowed into mine.
Into sheer and incomprehensible unity…
Regardless of how we think or feel,
or if we ever have a similar experience to this….
this is the REALITY of what happens to each of us each time we give ourselves to Jesus in Communion and truly open ourselves up to Him to receive Him in return.
So often, we don’t really believe or open ourselves.
So often, we go through the motions without recognizing the Reality — even in our will.
Yet, it is the Will that matters…
So often feelings and even thoughts come and go — but do we WILL to believe?
Do we WILL to become ONE with Jesus at each Communion?
If we do, this is the REALITY that takes place regardless of our subjective experiences.
If we do WILL it, that’s all that matters.
Jesus, becomes ONE with us and remains with us and makes His Home in us… just as He promised.
They say that Jesus remains physically present with us for 15 minutes. That’s the time it takes for the Eucharist to dissolve and be assimilated into us.
I would say this incredible experience continued at least that long.
I longed for it to never end.
I knew this experience was meant to be shared. It was not for me alone, but for all of God’s people. Each of us is loved in this incredible way!
This experience gave me (and I hope each of you) a glimpse into the REALITY that is beyond us.
How REAL God is and How close He is to us — not only at Communion, but at ALL times!!!!
He wants to remain with us ALWAYS and so I continue to hear in my will (though the subjective experience has faded) as I write this and go about my daily duties…
The TRUTH that His Heartbeat is beating within me remains… and so I call to mind over and over again the experience
As He tells me:
“I AM with you!”
What need is there for fear if I AM With You?!
I hear the sound of His Heart beating, as it pumps STRENGTH into me, so I can do what needs to be done… “In Him Who is my Strength, I have strength for everything.” (Phil 4:13).
I feel His Blood washing every sin away — along with my shame. I recognize I am made clean, I am FORGIVEN and FREE! “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be white as snow; they they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.” (Is 1: 18).
With my sins washed away, I feel each beat of His Heart pouring into me PEACE: “Peace that surpasses understanding.” (Phil 4: 7). (What an indescribable gift for those whose mind normally is at war!)
I experience such strength, such power, such might, such LOVE, one can’t help but be filled with HOPE AND TRUST!
And so, I respond: Jesus, I trust in You! O Blood and Water, which gushed forth from the Heart of Jesus as a Fount of Mercy for us, I place all my trust in You!”
To experience such life coursing through your body, one can’t help but feel renewed and made new! “Anyone who lives in me and I in Him becomes a new creation – the old has passed away! Behold, I make all things new!” (cf. Jn 6:56; Jn 15:5; 2 Cor 5: 17; Is 43:19; Is 65:17; Rev. 21:5).
With each beat of His Heart, each pulsation pours LOVE BEYOND ALL TELLING into me! How “greatly He desires to share this Passover with us!” (cf. Lk 22:15).
How He longs to pour forth His Love upon each of us! O, How He loves us!
What more could He do to show us His Love?
Will we return Love for Love?
Will we go to Him in faith and confidence in His Word: “This is My Body given for you! This is My Blood!”
Will we go to Him in repentance — so we are open to receive all the graces He longs to give us?
I pray it be so. Amen! So be it!
Jesus, thank You for your love!
@Janet Moore 2016. All Rights Reserved.